One of the things we get asked in hushed tones during a postpartum visit, is how to appropriately and comfortable resume relations under the covers after delivery.
Before we get started, let’s be clear about a few things:
Sex after baby is different.
It should be entered consensually, and there should be no pressure to have your partner enter any part of your body that is recovering from birth.
If at any time sex feels uncomfortable or painful, stop.
Now that you’re ready, let’s get to our advice for making this experience as pleasurable as possible!
Tips for Sex After Having a Baby
1. Take Your Time
The woman’s body needs more time to warm up.
No time is this more important than when you’re starting to get back into your groove for the very first time after baby arrives. If you’re worried about the baby waking, it’ll make you tenser and work against the process!
2. Use Some Lubrication
Since the pelvic floor is looser in some places, tighter and drier in others, and out of practice and differently shaped than before baby (yes, even after cesarean birth) you’ll possibly need some assistance with getting properly ready. Hormones can also affect the amount of vaginal fluid necessary for a smooth ride (hah!) so make sure you have something to help.
3. Start In a Low Impact Position
Avoid accepting the full monty right away from a position such as being on top. While this will allow you to control how much fit you can admit, it will also be the most intense first experience in. Try side lying or something close to missionary, and encourage your mate to go slowly.
4. Find Some Humor
Sometimes, weird things happen during sex after you have a baby. When you rely on breasts and nipples for stimulation, you might have a let down during the deed. Totally normal! You might also have excess air space in the vaginal canal that’s released when you’re having sex. Also normal! Your body is different now - and that’s ok! Embrace the humble humility and enjoy this new chapter in your sexual relationship with your partner.
5. Cross the Finish Line
You carried, delivered, and care for this baby day in and out - you’ve worked hard enough. Make your mate cherish and worship your temple and give you that o that you definitely deserve! Even if that means grabbing some toys to help with the job at the end - get yours!
When approached at the right time and in the right way, sex after baby can start resembling the sexual relationship you had before you had your little bundle of joy. And - maybe it might even bring you closer to your partner, your body and your sensuality!
Flip off those high heels and remember the goddess that you are!